In part 1 of this blog I wrote about you being powerful in and of yourself. No one else empowers you. You are born with the power to choose and be whichever version of you, you decide to be. There is a lot more to it than that of course, but let’s get some basic understandings in place first. I also asked that you consider the possibility that when You try to be in ‘control’ of everything you are actually neither in control or in power. The reason for that being is you are attempting to push things in the direction of your choosing. It is you who are a slave to the circumstances jumping to fix whatever has slipped out of place.
Today, I present to you that when you hold onto anger, your power is first of all given away to the object of your anger. Your focus is on it/them. The recipient of this anger may not even be aware of you. I was a witness to one such incident a few days ago. Traffic was backed up in the main thoroughfare of this small town. Two people inching along at an intersection, the woman was turning right and had the right of way. The man approaching opposite her was turning left and his left turn only light had since passed. The woman turned right while the man was pushing through the intersection. He beeped his horn at her. She gave him the finger and continued inching along.
The man seemed to just be blowing his horn in exasperation over the circumstance. Who knows, maybe it was even an accidental beep. Maybe his hand slipped. Either way the woman took it personally or as I like to say, bought her opinion of the situation. Within 15 seconds the man was listening to the radio, drumming on his steering wheel and occasionally singing along. Meanwhile the woman was thoroughly focused on the occupant of said car, constantly looking in the rearview mirror scowling and looking as though she was talking to herself. This man was quite oblivious to her at that time but the absolute holder of her attention, he focus, her emotions. It didn’t matter that his initial action was almost non-existent in his eyes. From my vantage point he had her complete focus.
Whose anger was it anyway? It wasn’t his, it wasn’t the by standers or observers. It was hers. She chose it, although it may not have seemed that way to her at the time. The truth was it was of her choosing. She could have reacted differently. I became painfully aware of the point of views we hold about others and their actions or inactions some time ago when I had experienced some emotional trauma and got behind the wheel of a car that same day. My driving was erratic and I’m sure some people sharing the road with me wished they weren’t. I thought about how we never really know what is going on with another person. I was thankful for not having encountered angry drivers that day!
The second and other very valuable point in this situation is that irritation (at minimum) was something that she alone was experiencing. She was the one who was tense, had a cross look on her face. It was evident in her consistently looking back in the rearview mirror. She was the one whose thoughts were consumed with an experience that had already come to pass. It was over! Yet, for her it was still in the present. Could there be a real value to living in the present moment, also known as mindfulness?
It is now widely accepted that holding onto negative emotions can cause physical ailments such as ulcers, hypertension, headaches and more. Some people such as myself, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer and Anita Morjani among many others agree that all of our physical ailments are caused by trapped emotions, negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. What was this woman unconsciously choosing for herself? Did she feel as though she was powerful in that moment? She may have felt a sense of significance but it seems very doubtful that there was any true sense of power. How does that serve anyone?
What can one do instead? Realize that people don’t act in a particular way because of who you are but rather because of who they are. It is always about them. People don’t behave badly because of you or act wonderfully because of you. They act the way they act because of who they are. Their actions may vary a bit based on their connection or experience with you but it is still all about them. If you have an experience during which you feel the anger begin to rise, check it. You are in control of who you are being! It is always a choice. Do you want to give your power, attention and bits of your life away to be angry or are you choosing a more rewarding experience for yourself?
I’d love to get your input. Please respond on the blog or by email if you wish to do so privately and share your experiences or results of dealing with the trilogy experiences.
To change a habit, make a conscious decision, and then act out the new behavior. ~Maxwell Maltz
Dr. Masaru Emoto- author of Messages In The Water, Biologist Cleve Backster – author of Primary Perception, biologist Dr Bruce Lipton- author of The Biology Of Belief and surgeon Dr Maxwell Maltz author of The New Psycho-Cybernetics, all have some very interesting information regarding our mental and emotional state on our physical experience of the world. I highly recommend any of their books for further exploration in this topic.