Here’s a quick recap of parts one and two. In part one I explained how trying to control situations and circumstances can leave you powerless and at the mercy of them. In part two, I wrote about giving away your power by being angry and how that is harmful on a physical level.
The last part of the trilogy is about eliminating blame. This is not very popular with all of the population so I ask you to read this with an open mind. In general we have become a victim mentality culture. There is always someone to blame for what is going on in our lives. Rather than solutions we seem to be looking for quick fixes or compensations for our plight. That means that other people are at cause for our individual lives. How is there any power in that?
If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams. ~ Les Brown
People talk about the lucky or unlucky ones completely ignoring the fact that those individuals had to take some part of their outcome, negative or positive. I am not talking about blaming, rather taking responsibility. By taking responsibility for your part you can make a change. When you are blaming, the fault lay with another. They are at cause in your life and you are at the mercy of ‘them’.
My latest standout experience with this subject took place earlier this week. I was flying home after a workshop in North Carolina. The plane was at full capacity and overhead space was certainly limited. I found a seat with some overhead storage and proceeded to put my bag in. One of the other bags was in sideways taking up 2 spaces. Inevitably the bag taking up two spaces had to be checked along with a couple of others. The owner of the bag was certain that my bag and I were the cause of the problem, not that her bag was oversized or that we were at capacity. She spent the entire flight complaining about her bag being checked and she was going to demand her early boarding charge be refunded etc. She was a victim of the airlines, of the plain steward and of me. It took three entities to ruin her flight and maybe even her entire day or week. She bore no responsibility for any of it. Do you understand how that puts her in victimhood?
I love to fly and during the workshop there was an ongoing conversation regarding shaming and how if you buy into it you can be crippled. I had also just recently read something on the subject that stood out for me. The gist of it was, if someone successfully convinces you to take on shame then they control you. This means that if you buy into it then they are in control of you. Remember the male driver from Part two? He didn’t buy it. As a matter of fact, he may not have even noticed she was selling it. At the same time when you blame someone else you surrender all control and responsibility because you are no longer culpable for the outcomes.
Does this make sense to you? Do you see that in order to be at power in your life you must take responsibility for everything that goes on and be aware that you can do things to change your outcomes. If you are always stuck in traffic and late for appointments you can leave earlier to compensate for the traffic. You cannot change what has already transpired. You can create tremendous changes in your future by just shifting the way you are proceeding now slightly. If you were to change the trajectory of a rocket by 5 degrees would that make a difference? It may be slight at first but moving forward and being at cause in your own life is invaluable and a game changer!
Share your experiences or ask questions below or privately through email if you prefer.
What is you opinion or point of view? I want to hear what you think!
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of. ~Jim Rohn