Over this past week while spending time with my daughter and seventeen month old grandson some of my old programming showed itself. I had always prided myself on my habit of explaining to my kids the ‘whys’ of things when they were little. I made it a point to clarify the reasoning of my answers. It was something that I thought was important. I like to know why someone chooses what they do for themselves and especially when it effects me.
At seventeen months my grandson is constantly testing and exploring the boundaries within his world, much as you’ll find in children of that age. On some days he seems to be investigating them quite ardently. Those days can be either trying or exhilarating. It’s not very surprising that it is dependent on where on the emotional spectrum I happen to be in that time frame. It isn’t what he’s doing or how he’s doing it that is the defining my reaction. It only has to do with me! That revelation struck me as did the next.
As a women’s self-empowerment coach I have educated many people on these basic truths over the years. Your reaction or choice of action is about you and theirs is about them, never you. Yet, here I was experiencing it first hand again and getting an up close look at this certainty on a different level in order to get a deeper understanding.
I also had the opportunity to have actually heard an opinion being expressed within myself in regards to something this beautiful, fun-loving boy was doing. The expressed opinion wasn’t mine. I questioned why. Why shouldn’t he be allowed to do these things? He wasn’t in harms way or destroying anything. He was having fun and pushing boundaries to see how far he could go. This is what many adults do to gage situations and all children do. It was at that time I realized this was an echo of my subconscious mind. It made no logical sense. It was a whisper from my own childhood and probably an echo that went back for generations. This particular piece of subconscious programming was no longer valid for the times.
We see more and more that people are questioning ‘why?’ of the powers that be. Standing Rock is probably one of the most recent notable situations. People are asking why aren’t our leaders speaking to the concerns of their constituents. Before the protests began the most prominent concerns were about police officers abusing their power. We the people are no longer accepting unjust behavior or taking no for an acceptable answer. The same is true of those old programs of limitation.
When was the last time you asked yourself why you’re hanging onto a job that doesn’t at least complement your goals and dreams? Are you in a relationship that no longer feels good? Are you living a life that no longer excites you? Are you doing things that you love or that inspire your creativity? What can you do about any of those scenarios? There’s really only one thing to do, start asking the questions! Some of them may be hard and the answers may make you uncomfortable. Don’t just accept that status quo. If you’re relationship isn’t working ask yourself how you are contributing to its current state. You are a contributing factor. If you’re unhappy with your career, ask yourself what you’re unhappy about? Ask the questions and get solid answers. Don’t just let that old programming run your life giving you lame excuses for why things are the way they are if you aren’t thriving. You have the ability to change anything you don’t like or that doesn’t serve you. This is your life! Now it’s time to take charge of it! Know what needs to be fixed or changed and begin there.
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If you have successfully navigated this territory please share your experience in the comments section or email me privately if you prefer.